“疯狂”家暴

Don’t respond to strangers, China’s first TV show analyzing and criticizing domestic violence, raised this important issue for our consideration. Ten years later, Li Yang, founder of “Crazy English” once again raised a storm of controversy over domestic violence. I won’t join either side of overwhelming criticism or firm support (mainly from Li Yang’s students), rather I will study this case through reason analyses and come to my own conclusion.

First, Li Yang’s family, consisting of a Chinese husband and an American wife, faces cultural challenges which are the main cause of conflicts. Though there are thousands of successful examples of cross-border marriages, we have to admit the fact that the communication barrier set up by cultural differences can never be totally transcended. Thus, couples may need an outlet such as a quarrel or a cold war, or as in Li Yang’s event, end up in an extreme form of violence. Second, there’s a big problem in the communication style between Li Yang and his wife. Both sides are too tough and no one would make a concession when their conflict is escalating. And according to the recent coverage as well as Li Yang’s own blog and claim, I can somewhat tell that his wife sometimes can be quite mean and the words can be really hurt. Li Yang is definitely wrong in terms of his violent conducts. However, communication is a two-way process and each side should take responsibility for the negative results.

Third, the absence of a special law on domestic violence contributes more “craziness” to Li Yang’s behavior towards his wife. Legislation represents a social attitude. If we have already had clear laws against the violence, many people will be deterred from the aggressive impulse. Besides, we need such laws to help form a social environment in which children are brought up to avoid any form of violence.

In fact, it’s rather tragic if domestic problems can only be solved by laws. Before we take any extreme step, we should think about the reasons and try to seek an acceptable solution. We can be “crazy” about our career, but we must stay calm to our families.