童华老师：雅思写作大作文之Advertising类题目分析
雅思写作中要求的250字的作文，分值站到了总分的三分之二,俗称“大作文”，今天狄邦培训童华老师就大作文中的广告类的一个代表题目进行分析讨论。
雅思写作大作文题目
“Advertising encourages people to buy more in quantity rather than buying better quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
这个题目，同学们乍一看都觉得很好选择立场，毕竟广告效应是一个相对比较了解且有亲身感受的事情，但是落实到具体的支持理由和对立面的分析时却感觉写不了多少, 或者论证无法很好的展开。因为雅思大作文的写作一般来说是需要有驳论段的。这里就提供两个方面的论证tips 供大家参考。
支持——广告会促进消费者购买更多
1. Vivid depiction of a product in an advertisement entices people to buy more of it.
进一步支持—— only advantages are displayed
E.G.----麦当劳，肯德基等快餐店的夸张广告只是宣传食物有多么美味而不提及吃太多此类食品会导致肥胖问题等，致使很多人在买垃圾食品时不能控制自己，大量消费。
大家可以尝试用同样的方法完成下面第2点和第3点的论述及展开说明：
2. The ultimate goal of advertising is to get a lot of profit by selling more goods in quantity.
3. Business often openly advertise “ promotions” and “sales” to encourage compulsive consuming.
接下来，是反对方的理由
反对——广告促使人们购买质量更好的产品
1. Many advertising campaigns focus on demonstrating the quality of products.
2. The ultimate goal of advertising is to provide opportunities for the general public to learn about the quality of a product.
3. Many advertisements generate sales through creating a high quality brand image.
以下是一位同学关于这篇文章的作文，需要修改的地方已用红色字体标出标出，修改方法并非唯一，仅供参考。
Does advertising encourages people to buy more in quantity rather than buying better quality? Some people think advertising unnecessarily persuades people to buy too much in quantity. However, others argue that many advertising also focus on the quality of products. I think modern commercial campaigns remain a versatile tool in terms of their persuasive power.
With much commercial information, an advertisement needs to stand out in order to impress its viewers, so many advertisements put the emphasis on creating a unique brand image. Advertising has become a form of creative art that appeal to a particular group of audience. Commercial messages that try to persuade people to buy more in quantity are considered to be tacky and are generally discriminated by viewers. As a result, many business avoid such unstylish message in order to protect their existing brand image.
The ultimate goal of advertisement is to sell more goods in quantity. Every
decision in the business world is relied on profits. A commercial campaign is not considered to be successful unless it generate enough revenue to cover its cost. The most direct way of increasing revenue would be by increasing the number of sales. This is why business want to successfully convince people to buy more in quantity when commercials are designed.
In addition, many businesses use advertising to creat a sense of urgency. Business people frequently advertise for “sales” and”promotions” . These advertising techniques always have an“end-date” attached to them. It let people make compulsive purchases without careful consideration. This is purely for the reason of encouraging people to buy more and to generate more sales. These advertisements generally do not mention the quality of goods on offer.
Anyway, I disagree with the contention that advertisements only focus on quantity rather than quality as advertisements come in different forms and styles of persuasion.
修改：
1.很多考生喜欢在开头照搬题目而不是进行paraphrase， 这是不合适的。 更书面更学术的写作形式是把它改成“ The role of advertising has become an increasingly discusses issue” 也就是把题目总结成名词词组“广告的角色”做主语。
2.主题句一定要简洁， 总结成三个词就是“simple and easy” ！所以，同学们在写作时最好使用简单句。如果主题句是从句，往往意味着主题句中已经开始逻辑论述了。应该把主题句中的逻辑关系提出来，作为展开解释的一部分。 可以改为Many advertisements put the emphasis on creating a unique brand image. In a world bombarded with commercial information, an advertisement needs to stand out in order to impress its viewers.
3.想表达“被鄙视”可以把discriminated 改为be frowned upon 是正确的书面表达方法。
4.本段与上段之间是对比关系，所以，开头最好加一个“However”。 5.要表达“取决于。。。”可以使用be determined by。 6.学员此处是想表达零售商，正确表达是retailers. 7.Let 改为 prompt, 意思是“促使”。
8.This is 作为连接可以改为such practice , 这里的practice意思为“实践” 而不是“练习”。
9.很多同学喜欢用Anyway作为最后一段的开头，建议用in conclusion 这种比较书面，正式的表达方式。
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